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Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
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8:52 pm
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Oh wow... its been a while sinse i updated -_-;; I've been to fucking emo latly... *sigh* I'm sort of... lonely, I guess. I spend alot of time watching Jesa and Ryan, talking to her about how she feel about him...
I guess I'm jelous. which makes me feel like an idiot. I know this kind of thing hurts, it ALWAYS hurts... But I'm 19 now, this is my last year of being a teenager and i've never been able to really act like on in my whole life...
I guess i want to be one, even just for a little while. I want... someone to experiment with...
Ryan said he would get me a boyfriend... isnt that interesting?
current mood:  calm
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 3rd, 2005
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3:56 pm - My random weekend...
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I havnt updated in a while so... yeah. I have things to write but am just far to lazy yo actually write things... But anyway...
Lotsa interesting stuff has happened, I'm doing okay, thats it. So There. Jesa's boyfriend chased me around and licked me this weekend. I bit him. It was fun. Busses are so slow... and some bitch walked about half through me before I flickered somewhere else -_- Ryan is being rather nice to me so.... *narrows eyes* He's trying, I'll give him that. I'm still rather careful tho, I have a good memory... But he makes her happy, which is all that matters right now.
Also, Jesa and i played a game. I was a black knight and she was a pirate princess... and we were venturing to her ship, and she was taking me to the kingdom of King Rodomonte so he could give her safe passage across some contenent I cant remember the name off.... also we were looking for a ninja prince (Ryan)... blah blah blah.... Between teasing Ryan and playing with Jesa, it was pretty good.
current mood: calm
current music: MASH on tv
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, September 23rd, 2005
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4:31 pm
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What the fuck is wrong with everyone? How the fuck do you all think you know what I am?
I could be your god you know. I could have hated my life, created a world I could run to but never really touch, because maybe thats what I needed. Maybe I needed someone like Jesa, someone to take care of, someone who needed me. Maybe I made this whole fucking world just to hurt her so i could hold her (because after all, she knows about the world that was there to hurt me. Maybe she made it, maybe I just let her remember)
None of you fucking people can tell me if I'm real or not. You can all fucking go to hell.
No excuse me, the world has decided after giving Jesa's heart a little light it's going to punch her in the stomach again. Excuse me, this unreal boy must go do some very real, very needed comforting of a very hurting little girl.
current mood:  cold
current music: nothing
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
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11:34 am
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Here we go...
You know what? This is why I dont let myself do this, this is why I dont even flirt with these ideas. *sigh* But nnooo.... *growl* a safe bet I thought, because woman usually throw themselves at me, she's different I thought, my mot dare with the idea...
But no. I havnt heard from her in forever. I dont think she's even interested in me anymore (glimmers fade from new toys, after all)
Fuck this. I knew there was a reson I dont do this. I knew it. But I'm stupid... I really am. I'm not doing this anymore. I've shut myself off before and I can and will do it again. She can keep ignoring me if she wants to, I'll just stop carring.
Woman suck. They can all go to hell (except you Jesa). Someone please send me a sweet little boy.... because boys I undertsand.
current mood: crappy
current music: people screaming on TV
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 19th, 2005
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7:01 pm
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| Friday, September 16th, 2005
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10:09 am - LONG
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001. What is your name? Gabriel Warren Peace
002. Spell your name backwards: Ecaep Nerraw Leirbag
003. Date of birth: October 13th
004. Male or female? Male
005. Astrological sign: Libra (and my ruling planet is venus)
006. Nicknames: Alestor Black, Killer, Nii-chan
007. Occupation? Care taker, brother
008. Height: 5'10
009. Weight: dont know
010. Hair color: Half black, half blue right now. although I may change it soon
011. Eye color: Vivid blue
012. Where were you born? Atlantis, in a dark candle lit living room
013. Where do you reside now? Brampton
014. Age: 18
015. Screen names: just Gabriel_Peace (I'm so original... witty too)
016. E-mail addy: gabriel_peace13@hotmail(dot)com
017. What does your screen name stand for? How many fucking times have I answered this question? Its my name, without my middle name.
018. What is your lj name? Gabriel_Peace
019. What does your Blurty name stand for? WTF
020. Pets: my knife, Katie
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? I've never had a birthday cake before
022. Piercings? Belly button
023. Tattoo's? Atlantian writting type stuff on the small of my back
025. Righty or lefty? Both
026. Wearing: Blue short shorts, white tank top, and a fuzzy black poncho, because its cold. Also, a feathered hat I took from Rodomonte
027. Hearing: Jesa's voice and mine in my head. Sometimes there so close together we cant tell who's is who's. I think we just agree alot, think the same all the time
028. Feeling: Loved, included, happy with a slight back drop of sadness because Jesa's leg is killing her right now and i dont know what to do to help.
029. Eating/drinking: Nothing
~Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love? Familly type love, yes
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? Jesa, and Rodomente
063. How many people have you been in love with? I've never felt love as in wanting to marry someone, I'm rather happy with the love I have right now.
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? No
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? No
116. Are your parents divorced? *sigh* No, I killed them, they never had the chance.
117. Do you have step parents? No (Maybe... *looks over at Rodomonte*)
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? Yeah, me. Because i couldn't take it any more, I couldnt take being second place to a little baby... so I did something about it
119. If so for what? Hating my sister, giving her a fever, killing them all
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country? I libe in Canada -_- But I'm from Atlantis
Music Stuff
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? Getting Away with Murder, by papa roach, or Behind Blue eyes, by Limp Bizkit
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? burned self selecred J-pop
123. What's the best cd you own? .... the burned ones. Not all j-pop but alot of it
124. What song do you absolutely hate? I dont know, Most rap
125. Do you sing in the shower? yeah. i sing alot actually
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? I'm going to assume you mean Jesa so i dont have to tyupe for about the millionth time that I dont want anyone like that (except you know... I just did -_-)Jesa likes that song "Lie To Me" by closure, or "Breath No More" by evanescence. Both remind me of her.
Okay, I Name An Artist And I Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs:
127. Pink: Your just like a pill, instead of making me better, your making me ill
128. Aerosmith: ..... I dont know
129. Madonna:I dont know -_-
130. Korn: So what I feel the need, i think it's time to bleed, I'm gunna cut myself and watch the blood hit the ground
131. Backstreet Boys: When we are two worlds apart, can't reach to your heart
132. The Beatles: I hate the beatles
133. Sublime: WTF
134. J.Lo: ... WTF
135. *Nsync: Bye bye bye
136. Limp Bizkit: No one knows what its like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes
137. Britney Spears: You drive me crazy, but it feel alright
138. Creed: .... I've been kissed by a rose on the gray (is that creed or seal?)
139. Enrique Iglesias: I unno
140. Good Charlotte: I unno
141. Christina Aguilera: .... something about genies
142. Eminem: No more worries rest your head and go to sleep, maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream
143. New Found Glory: next
144. Kelly Clarkson: next -_-
145. Kelly Osbourne: *sigh*
146. Mandy Moore: -_-
147. Eve: *growl*
148. Aaliyah: ...
149. Nelly: Next
Favorites
152. Color: Blue, Black, white
153. Food: Custard tarts
154. Song: Getting away with Murder, behind Blue eyes
155. Show: FullMetal Alchemist
157. Band/singer: AFI
158. Animal: Mermaids, silver fish, wolves
161. Movie: Butterfly Effect
162. Pair of shoes: I only own two pairs -_- both are black, one has silver zippers and one has two white stripes
164. Actor: Dont care
165. Actress: Dont care
166. Potato chip: Black pepper jack
167. Drink: Mudslides
168. Alcholic drink: mudslides
169. Holiday: Halloween
170. Perfume/cologne: I dont wear any but axe is nice
171. Pizza topping: Shrimp
172. Jello flavor: dont like Jello
173. Lunch meat: Peple
174. Board game: Dont have a favorite
175. Video game: Ark The Lad; Twilight of the Spirits
176. Website: LJ
177. Book: I dont know
178. Computer game:I like chatting more then game playng. It lets me talk to people
179. Number: 13
180. Cereal: anytthing sweet
181. Comedian: I think his name is Kurt Russel
182. Dessert: Custard tarts
183. Disney character: Jafar (althuogh he needs to actually be HOT)
184. Clothing store: *shrug* i dont need to shop. I draw from jesa's winderful fation sense *grin*
185. Passtime: Chatting, talking to Jesa or Rodomonte, I like reading but i cant seem to find anything good... and its been forever sense I had a good swim ;_;
186. Teacher: I hated all of my teachers
187. Childhood toy: Katie
188. Carnival game/ride: Carosel *grin* for 8cough* reasons
189. Candy bar: Snickers... or Smors bars
190. Magazine: I reallyu dont care
191. Salad dressing: Onion vinigrette... it taste nothing like onion and its creammy rather then vinigary...
192. Thing to do on the weekend: Go on LJ, chat, follow Jesa
193. Hot drink: Something sweet
194. Season: Fall
195. Sport to watch: I dont like watching sports
196. Person to talk to online: Rodomonte
Bedroom/Sleeping Habits
199. Do you have posters on your wall? Some printed out pictures
200. If so of what? Darc/Kharg yaoi
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? No
202. How many pillows are on your bed?: 4
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? No
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? Yeah, silence is unnerving
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: Something about killing ,y familly and them comming back to get me 8sigh* I havnt had a bad dream in a while tho
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yeah
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed?Uhhh two?
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? I guess. Either wrapped behing Jesa or on top of her
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? Yeah, Jesa
214. Do you snore? No
215. How about drool? No
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? Yes, it was made by satan -_-
217. What color is the carpet in your room? Dirty
218. What's under your bed? scissors
This or that
219. beach/mountains: The beach... but it has to be at night
220. Donuts/bagels: Dounuts
221. Day/night: Night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: WTF
223. Heaven/hell: I've been to both
225. Coffee/tea: Black coffee
228. Britney/Christina: -_- ew.
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: American
230. Real World/Road Rules: WTF
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: I dont care, they're both queer -_-
232. Silver/gold: Silver
233. Nike/Adidas: does it make that much of a difference?
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Mcdonalds, its cheaper
235. Sweet/sour: Sweet
236. Punk/emo: Both. Because I want both.
237. Hot/cold: Cold is nice... but hot can be nice to sometimes
238. Winter/summer: summer
239. Spring/fall: Fall
240. Operas/plays: Both
241. Read/watch tv: Both
242. Cd's/tapes: cd's
243. Dvd's/vhs: DVD
244. Old/new: It depends. old things gather value, but new things have that shiny flawless apeal
245. Shorts/skirts: I've been known to wear both
246. Pink/red: Red, like blood
247. Coloured pictures/black and white photos: PLack ans white... with splashes of blue
248. Meat/vegetables: Both
249. Mexican food/chinese food: Chinese
250. Commercials/infomercials: I hate both. Whats with all the pointless questions?
251. Scary movies/comedies: Scary movies
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Bakinis *grin*
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Sandals
254. Dogs/cats: Both
255. Unicorns/fairies: Unicorns
256. Water/land: land surrounded by water
257. Sugar/spice: Both
258. Black/white: Black
259. ribbons/bows: ribbons
260. Chicken/beef: chicken
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: coloured
262. Cars/trucks: Cars
264. Popcorn/pretzels: Pretzals
265. Hip/hop: WTF how many times have i answered some of these idiotic questions -_-
266. Passionate kiss/peck: Yeah, I know I've answerd these before -_- I'll take the first option, of course
267. WWE wrestling/real wrestling: whatever, they're all queer
268. Back rub/foot massage: Back rub tends to lead to better things
269. Picture frames/photo albums: Picture frames
270. Pens/pencils: Both
What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
271. Eminem: He's great, I love that song "mocking bird"
272. Virgins:They dont last long around me *grin*
273. God: No such monster
274. The Osbournes: *shrugs*
275. Reality TV: The product of bored poor people trying to make cheap, horrible TV
276. J.Lo: *glares*
278. Emo music: I havnt heard much, but what I've heard I like
279. Valentine's Day: also known as "lets rub it in" day
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: She turned into a soft core porn star
282. Abortion:Whatever they want
284. Murder: Is sometimes the only way out
285. Death: Something I cause but that can never catch me
289. Pornography: Is a good pass time
290. Fortune tellers: Most are fake -_- and they charge to much bloody money
293. Politics: are so stupid that if I follow them for to long my head will explode
294. Country music: my ears are bleeding
296. Cloning: *shrugs* whatever
What You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?.
299. Jack: and jill? Incest
300. Tiffany: Little white dogs
301. Ben: a gaint, ticking clock
302. Maria: Spanish woman, with long black hair and red roses
303. Jennifer: a olive skinned girl with black hair and brown eyes that made Jesa sad and bossed her around when she was little
304. Nicole: sounds like a Christmas name
305. Amy: A pink ditzy little headgehog
310. Tom: Riddle
314. John: A poor lost drug addict, forgotten and abandoned, but to numb to care
315. Joel: Makes me think of a mediocer singer for some reason
323. Natalie: Sounds familliar
324. Christy: Makes me think of fresh cooies and crispy cold frost
Have You Ever...
331. Mooned anyone? No
332. Been on a diet? no
333. Been to a foreign country? Canada is foreign to me... but I like it
334. Broken a bone? I'm not sure..,I dont think so
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling?No
336. Swear at a teacher? Yeah, Got beat for it though *shudder*
338. Got in a fight? aaallll the time
339. Dated a teacher? No. Once once tried to- and I'm not gunna finsh that thought
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? *rolls eyes* no
341. Thought about killing your enemy? Been there, done that
342. Gone skinny dipping? On a dare
344. Told a little white lie? More then that -_-
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? No
346. Stolen anything? all the time
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? OK I know i've answered lots of these fucking questions before -_- *sigh* No, I havnt
348. Been on TV? No, no one can see me anyway
349. Been on the radio? No
350. Been in a mosh pit? No
351. Been to a concert? No -_-
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? Yeah. I love Jesa and the world wont fucking stop hurting her, and I love Rodomonte but he's so far away.
355. Broken the law? Is there any I havn't broken
356. Been to a rodeo? *rolls eyes* I think some idiotic american hic came up with this test
357. Been on a talk show? Oh yeah, your in love with my girlfriend who's actually my gay sister ans she's mine! *throws a chair* -_-
358. Been on a game show? No
359. Been on an airplane? No, they seem scary to me though
360. Got to ride on a firetruck? No, because I am not five so its not one of my life ambisions
361. Came close to dying? a few times
364. Terrorized a babysitter? *grin* Of course
365. Made a mud pie? No... I was never allowed to act like a child that way, even when I was one
366. Had a dream that your falling off a cliff? I'm not sure
367. Snuck out of the house at night? I dont remember...
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? Of course -_-
370. Felt like you didn't belong? Hasnt everyone? I dont even beling in this world, but I belong with Jesa, and thast whats important
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? NOt really. No one can see me so its like I'm always the tird weel and its normal... although its not akward, because Jesa is usually the only one who knows I'm there
372. Smoked? A few times, only afrer sex though
373. Done drugs? No
374. Been arrested? almost
375. Had your tonsils removed? O.o WTF
376. Gone to camp? school was more like a refugee camp -_-
377. Won a bet? I think so
378. Written a love letter? no
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? I'm always woth Jesa...
380. Written a love poem? No (kinda...)
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? I've asked a dear dear frind for relationship advice for my sister, not me
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? No, I dont even drive
390. Done jail time? School was like jail time -_-
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? No. There were school uniforms though
392. Won a trophy? No
393. Thrown up in public? Does a school bathroom count? Then yes.
395. Failed/got held back? No. The school i was at was more of a place for forgotten boys so you never really got through grades or anything tho. There was just work to do.
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? It was impossible not to -_-
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? No
398. Taken ballet lessons? Kinda... there was a grace class at school, part of hunting...
399. Attempted suicide? a few times
400. Cut yourself? Used to do it all the time
Randomness
425. Do you believe in aliens? Maybe
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: Pop cans, agenda, papers
427. Do you have any hidden talents? I can breath under water, comtrol fire, and summon a (baby) monster
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? I dont watch MTV so i dont care
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Horror
430. What would your movie star name be? I dont care. i like my Name... Gabriel Warren Peace.... its very pretty
431. Do you play any sports? Not really. But I love swimming... I dont know if that counts
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Movies dont scare me. Although the grudge was a little creepy. Cool ending too *grin*
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? The grim brothers. the ro brothers ALMOST kissed... damn people taking away my gay incesty kiss -_-
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Uhhh... I dont know, alot are stupid
435. Do you drive? No
436. What is your dream car? I want a motercycle, black and silver with blue water dragons on it
437. Do you think your good looking? Oh yes, very much so *grin*
438. Do others think you are good looking? Of course they do, everyone wants me (i can name at least four people right now *grin*)
439. Would you ever sky dive? sure, why not? anything for a thrill
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? wtf? I dont know
441. How many rooms do you have in your house? 7, I think
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? I was. Now I loke them
443. Do you believe in God? No such monster (I already answered this on this quiz)
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? Not the christain version, but yes. I've been there
446. Do you believe there is a hell? Yes, I've been there too
447. Do you own a pooltable? No
448. Do you have a pool? No, But I really want one...
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? Yea, her name is Jesa and she works for hugs and cash
450. Do you like chocolate? *holds you at knife point* give it to me. NOW
451. Who/what is on your 2005 calendar? I dont have one
452. How many U.S. states have you been to? None
453. Ever wished on a shooting star? I've never seen one
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? I've never worn one
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? Katie
456. What is your weakness? I dont have one. I care only about those who i know wont hurt me, and otherwise i dont let anyone in
457. Name something you can't get enough of: affection
459. How many kids do you want to have? None.. unles you mean for lunch, then I'll have 3... no, five
460. Future daughters names: -_-
462. What is your ideal way to die? I cant die, I can only be forgotten
463. How do you release stress? You really dont want to know (I cry sometimes... but rarely)
464. Are you a trendy person? Maybe, i dont know
465. Are you an artisitic person? a bit
466. Are you a realistic person? I dont know. I regect your reality and replace it with my own
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? I barely ever wear shoes
468. Are you a strong person? In a way
469. Are you a strong willed person? Very
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? Rodomonte
471. Who is the last person to IM you? Rodomonte
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? I never get them
473. Are you a deep sleeper? I dont know, I just wake up when Jesa does
474. Are you a good story teller? Never tried, not sure
475. What do you believe is your best quality? My devotion to thoise i love
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? Saving her
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? I've never done it but I dont see why I wouldnt enjoy it
478. Do you do yoga? No. Its seems kinda relaxing but it looks stupid
479. Do you have your own credit card? No
480. Let's say you win the lotto...I would buy Jesa FMA DVDS and get a plane ticket for Rodomonte
481. Do you have a check book? No
482. Do you like your driver? I dnt have one... unless yuor talking about bus drivers... they all suck
483. Do you tan easily? No... my skin is always snow white
484. What color is your hair naturally? Black on one side, white on the other
485. How many fillings do you have? none
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? none, I've never even been to a real dentist before
487. Worst feeling in the world? KNowing someone is hurting and not being able to kick the shit out of whats causing it
488. Best feeling in the world? seeing those you love happy
489. Is the glass half empty or half full? Its just... half
490. Last thing you downloaded? Uhhh I dont know. somethings telling me to tyoe Korn
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? Yeah -_-
492. What do you think people think of you? I dont know... alot hate me but a few adore me
493. Are you a likeable person? *giggle* no
494. Do you need therapy? *grin* oh yeah...
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? No
496. What the best way to be proposed to? *shrug* whatever
499. When are you moving? I dont know. i go where Jesa goes, and she doesnt know where/when she's going
500. Are you happy this is over? God yes
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
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5:02 pm - a survay
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1)Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: I dont buy anything, I take what I want when i want.
2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink : Vodka, friut juice, blood, and milkshakes
3)Last Time You Cried? Happy or sad? Never mind, it classifies as both. I was talking to Rodomonte, i remembered oh so vividly killing my parents... and I acyually told him I wished he was my Dad... and I really do... I wish Jesa and I had a father like him... he's great...
4)What's In Your CD Player? J-pop
5)What's Under Your Bed? Scissors
6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today? Six o'clock this morning, for Jesa's school
7)Current Hair? Blue on one side, black on the other
8)Current Clothes? Black jeans, dark blue tank top, silver chain, and black arm socks.
9)Current Desktop Picture ? Someone on vacation
10)Current Worry? Jesa. I worry about her all the time, worry shes not okay (and i know she's not)
11)Current Hate? *narrows eyes* NOt saying. If you know me you know what I hate right now.
12)Favorite Places To Be? On Jesa's lap, or on her back
13)Least Favorite Place? I'm always where I want to be, with her. although If I had to choose, I dont like her school all that much
14)If You Could Play An Instrument? I would play the violin
15)Favorite Colors? Blue, white, black
16)How Tall Are You? 5"10
17) Favorite expression? No one is a virgin, life fucks us all
18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:... Three people. My mother, my father, my (first) sisiter
19)Favorite Day(s)? Halloween
20)Where Would You Like To Go? Japan
21)Where do you want to live when you get married? Not getting married, and with Jesa
22)Favorite food?: Custard tart
23)Color of most clothes you own: Different shades of blue
24)Number of pillows you sleep with? 4, and 5 id Jesa counts as a pillow
25)What do you wear when you go to sleep?: Blue short shorts, and a white tank top
26)What were you doing 12AM last night: Sleeping
27)How old will you be in 10 yrs: 28
28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years: I dont know... With Jesa, as for where she'll be... we dont know
29)Have you ever had braces? No
30)Are you paranoid?! No, just smart
31)Do you burn or tan? Niether. My skin is snow white
32)What is the brand of your wallet? Dont have a wallet
33)First piercing/tattoo? I pierced my belly button when I was 13
34)First enemy? Kindergarden teacher, at school
35)Last person you yelled at? ..... I dont yell much. and even when i do, Jesa is the only one who could hear me anyway
36)Last serious significant other? I dont have people like that. The people I am close to are Jesa and rodomonte though
37)Last thing you ate? Uhhh.... I dont really eat. Last thing I tasted was chocolate milk though
The LJ quiz!
1. Your LiveJournal user name & what it means: Gabriel_Peace. It my name, with my middle name, Warren, taken out.
2. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest) how well does your LiveJournal represent who you actually are? .... 8, points deducted because i am not that pissed off all the time. There are a few (very few) people whi get to see the softer side of me.
3. How much about your life do you post to LJ? Almost all of it.
4. Is there anything you refuse to post about? Hmm Yes but i wont refuse to talk about it... Jesa and Rodomonte know....
5. On a scale of 1-10 how interesting do you think your own journal is to others? No one really reads it that much so I guess not that great... but I enjoy writting in it.
6. Has anyone ever joined LJ because of you? I dont think so
7. What proportion of your posts are friends only? None of them
8. What is your favorite interest on LJ? I dont have one. I like all my intrests, thats why there on that list
9. How often do you post in communities, and did you ever start your own? I dont post in comms really, and i have never started one... perhaps If I can think of a worth cause, i will
10. How often do you respond to/comment on other people's journals? Not much. Only when it concerns me. I'm selfish that way.
11. Do you prefer to write in your journal or read other journals? Write in mine
12. Have you ever had something mean said to you or been stalked, harassed or
got into an argument/flame war on LJ (or did it to someone else)? No, I have never done that or had that done to me. Although I've seen it done to my Jesa and its... horrible.
13. Have you ever banned someone from your journal? No
14. Who are your three favorite LJ friend(s) and why? ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) anvanimaserke, rodomonte, and .... Hmmm.... To many girls are after me, I cant pick one you see, they'll kill me.
15. Of all of the people on LJ you know of, who is the most like you? Uhhhmmm... no one is really just like me. Jesa and rodomonte are alot like me in some ways I guess.
16. Why are you most likely to add someone to your friends list? If I get to know them and like them.
17. Do you automatically add friends to your journal if they add you first? Not all the find
18. What is the most likely reason you wouldn't add someone to your friends
list? If they're stupid, mean, homophobic, idiotic, all that shit
19. Is your "significant other" on LJ? If you mean Jesa, then yes, if you mean lover, then i'm not interested
20. Have you ever wanted to meet someone on LJ? Yes. I would adore meeting Rodomonte in person (or as close to in person as I can get)
current mood: touched
current music: Something on TV
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| Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
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9:44 am
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ThE bAsIcS
Name: Gabriel Warren Peace
Nicknames: Alestor Black, Killer
Age: 18
Birthdate: October 13
Eye color: Vivid Blue
Hair color: Right now? Black and long, tied in a black ribbon, with blue bangs
Height: 5"10
Weight: *shrug* I dont know
Family: *twitch* Dead. All dead.
FaVoRiTeS
Food: Custard tart
Drink: Black coffee, blood
Alcoholic Drink: Vodka
Movie: Butterfly Effect
TV Show: FullMetal Alchemist
Day: Halloween
Actor: I dont care
Actress: Dont care...
Song: Getting Away With Murder, by Papa Roach
Band: ... I dont know...
ThIs Or ThAt
Pepsi or coke: Coke
Fruit or veggies: Friut, it's sweeter
Day or night: Night
Hot or cold: Sometimes cold is good... but sometimes hot is good to ;)
Summer or winter: Niether... to bright and to cold -_-;;
Surf or snowboard: Surfing... at night
Books or movies: Books
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds (Its like crack)
Socks or Barefeet: Barefeet
Beer or Liquor: Liquor
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
HaVe YoU eVeR
Kissed someone: -_- Of course
Gone past kissing someone: *grin*
Had sex: Over and over with countless people
Smoked: A few times
Drank: All the time
Done Drugs: No
Thought about suicide: Yes, alot for most of my life
Slit your wrists: A few times, shallow though
Gone skinnydipping: Yeah (on a dare)
Kissed the same sex: Yeah
Won an award: No
Gone skydiving: No
Been in a plane: No
Made yourself puke: Yeah... to get out of class, to get attention, but it never really worked -_-
Cried over something stupid: I barely ever cry (but I have)
Told someone you loved them: Yeah... just Jesa
Told someone to f-off: All the time
Dyed your hair: I change my hair litirally every day
FuTuRe
College: Perhaps
Car: I dont want one... but a moter cycle would be nice...
Husband: I dont wantanyone like that
How many kids: None (unless you mean as lunch meat then Ill take six)
Names: Lunch. Meat.
Where will you live: With Jesa. She wants to go to Japan someday...
Where will you get married: I wont
What will you be: a care giver
How do you want to die: I cant die. I can only be forgotten
ExTrAs
Was this fun: *shrug* It kills something I cant. Time.
Would you do it again: If the questions were diferent
Do you like waffles: I little
How about snickers bars: Give me one. NOW *holds you at knife point*
How long did this take you: Not to long at all
current mood:  blah
current music: something on TV
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| Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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11:19 pm
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Some one asked me something strange... asked if a girl was special to me...
And i had this thought.
Myself
In the dark
And a brightness is crawling through the cracks to me, reaching
Its bright and blarring and all i can see is white through black
All I hear is it cracking my shell
And Then I look over at Jesa
And see the burns it left her with...
I'm thinking about all the people I know... why do I like them? Why are they in my head? Well let me see if I can figure it out... (I'm going through all the people like me...)
Marahute: Because your pretty, because you take care of Rachelle like she deserves. Because you love your brother, because you like fishing. Because your smart. Because your real enough to help someone, because your not a cheap comfort, and because you cuddle her.
Asha: Honestlty sweetheart, you annoy me. Bright people just do. I'm used to being underground... and bright things make he squint. But you like killing things... and your easy. Something to flaunt my freedom in, something to help me find carnal pleasure.... something to let loose all the wildness I've had to repress.
Markus:... Honestly I dont like you either. Far to uptight, far to... straight. But your a boy... and I'm curious. But your far to stiff for that *growl*
Tabitha: I hate you. Far to perky, far to bright, I think I just think about you because your so freakin annoying... and You and Giddion are like a two for one deal.... not one without the other.
Giddion: You are... dark. Something my skin and eyes are used to (something that I rather like) Someone who doesnt mind how absolutly evil I am.... although you might just stab me in my painfully gay moments, and for that I know we could never be real friends. But again... you are male, and I am curious.
Anne: You seem passionate, and yet.... again I encounter brightness. Something I find hard to handle. But theres a grace to you, a delicate beauty, not pressing but more aluring... feminin and delicate, I find myself thinking about braking you some odd things. It reminds me that I am a sadist, and I am evil. And i can never really be close to anyone who cant accept that.
Sash:.... You make me curious. You came from underground, just like me. And your hair makes me think of al the blood I've spilt (Mine, hers, thiers, all of it...) And you seem friendly with an edge. Your people seem facinating.... But i dont know about your life, what you've been through, if you have even the faintest hope of understanding the depths of my pain (But so far only Jesa, Marahute and Rachelle have mastered that, so its not something I really accpect....) You require alot of thought.... and i dont know if that answers your question, if it means your special... But I dont understand any of this, so you;ll have to excuse my broken mind.
Wow... quite alot of self analizing in all those little notes... Not that anyone reads this, not that anyone will care... I just needed to do some thinking...
current mood: just a little blue...
current music: something on TV
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| Monday, September 5th, 2005
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7:45 pm - A note to a certain someone...
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I take it all back. All that fucking green envy... all that admiration, all of everything I have ever thought of you.
How fucking dare you!? Did you really think that would fucking help? Do you want to know what you fucking did?!
You brought her closer to fucking KILLING HERSELF! She had the fucking blade to her wrist in the park, sobbing about how she wasnt worth anything (all those memories of being thrown into walls, hit, and threats to get the shit kicked out of her brought up by your little action didnt help much either)
You are so lucky she smarter then that. You are so lucky I could talk her out of it
current mood:  pissed behond believe
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| Sunday, September 4th, 2005
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11:45 pm
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Hold your breath Jesa...
Dont breath
Let me covers your eyes
Cover your ears...
Please dont look down
You wont understand...
But you already did
Theres that one sword always through your heart (but you knew about that...)
Theres the knife in your back (another familliar wound)
But theres a brand knew pain
(And you dont understand it)
A shiny silver dagger right threw your gut
'Fear'
'Abandonment'
'alone'
'Promises'
All etched up the hanlde
And you dont know why your scared, hurt
I wish I could explain it to you but you dont even want to consider...
All you now are the words that stung
And you dont understand the bite...
My poor little girl
Theres far to much you dont understand
current mood: tired
current music: something on TV (Jesa's rapid beating heart...)
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8:05 pm
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I havnt updated in a while... so I wil. About... shit, stuff, alright?
*grin* There is a BOY around *evil smirk* His name is Giddion and he is quite cool. I am no longer surrounded my girls, the world will rejoice and all will be well (yeah, right -_-)
*Sigh* Again Jesa is alone and sick. She doesnt accpect people to take care of her when she's this way ("I'm contagos and ill and no fun... why would they want to?") But thats why I'm here... poor little girl needed alot of affection today... she missed Ryan one hell of alot
But on to other things... You know, it took me a good few episoides to realize FullMetal Alchemist was NOT intended to be an incest show. Because I'm brilliant that way, really.
And does anyone else want to murder the principal of heart lake? Because I do. really. Alot. really alot *cough*
If you havn't checked yet go look at my new pictures in my profile, I look hot (except the chibi one >_O wtf man, wtf).
So now... I think I'll write a poem...
( Stabbing Kisses )
current mood:  creative
current music: Nothing...
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| Friday, September 2nd, 2005
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12:54 am
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Why does no one trust me? Cassie Cassie, dont you like me? Why dont you trust me? I help her you know, but I can tell, I can see it. You think I'm bad for her, or a part of you does. I find it quite fucking ihnsulting, btw *glares*
But on another note... This world lashed her again. One tiny drop of goodness and suddenly her heart is again torn out and stepped on. Ripped, torn, killed, spit on, and handed back to her. She cant go back to school, they dont want her to be in the same bilding with... *sigh* Youcan read her LJ, if you want...
And I was mad. I changed, for a while. Red eyes, black clothes and hair, red Katie. I felt demonic, I felt... like I wanted things dead. I wanyed to posses Jesa to scream at the people hurting her, to carve cuts into them so they could feel a tiny fraction of what they've done. But I didnt... she wouldnt let me, and I didnt want to make things worse for her... There was a moment when we were in between.
"I dont want you to do this... please."
"... I dont want to hurt you...." and I let go. And watched as they hurt her more, cut up her heart. I hate this place.
I'm sorry I cant be there for you Jesa, I'm sorry I canr do more...
But I'll do what I can. I'll always be with you
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| Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
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1:27 am
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I sleep, walk, follow behind her. All the time. I dont know why... I just am always behind. But a few nights ago...
I dont really understand why. Suddenly my head was on Jesa's stomach, arms latched around her back, and I just started sobbing. This world is such a horrible place. I hate it. It treats people so horribly. So much suffering... and Jesa just looked down at me and pet my hair, and hugged me tight until I stopped... I wish I could do things for her, this world doesnt take care of her and I wish I could but...
... Nothing as ever felt so sad to me. Her and I crying like that, two pieces that fit together, but no where else. Both of us wish there was a place to get away...
I know we're gunna end up crying again tonight. See this, world? You are no place for your children, what a sorry excuse you are, letting us fall from grace, to these dark winding streets void of derection... you let us strave for love (starve for food) you let us cry until we beg death. "Mother Earth" indeed.
On a completely different note, I hate Brandon (little bastard...)
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| Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
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8:56 pm
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List 5 reasons you're a dork and tag people:
1. I am not a dork
2. and Katie wants to play
3. so She'll slip into you...
4. and spill your insides out
5. if you fucking call me a drok again
Tag? I dont know many people, Asha, Sash, Kyle, Moe, your all tagged
List 10 things that turn you on and then tag some more:
1. White skin
2. Black hair
3. Little girls
4. Blood
5. Begging
6. Screaming
7. Seducing the unwilling
8. Incest
9. Leather
10. Black ribbons
... RYAN! *tags you* Jesa tagged you too, but I'm tagging you specificly
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| Sunday, August 28th, 2005
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6:38 pm
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I freakin love this song, "Getting Away with Murder"
Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
what creates my own madness
and I'm addicted to your punishment
and you're the master
and I am waiting for disaster
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)
I drink my drink and I don't even want to
I think my thoughts when I don't even need to
I never look back cause I don't even want to
and I don't need to
because I'm getting away with murder
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away with murder)
Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
what creates my own madness
and I'm addicted to your punishment
and you're the master
and I am craving this disaster
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
It so good (And ha, I've gotten away with murder ;) So I just like it more) I wanted to update more but suddenly I really dont feel like it so.... bye
current music: Getting Away With Murder (Papa Roch)
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, August 26th, 2005
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7:00 pm
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NEVER fucking tell me I'm not real, NEVER. Jesa needs me, needs me to be here. NEVER scare her like that or I'll cut right fucking through you with Katie (sure I cant draw blood here, but I can slice an aura to pieces, cut bad luck into your bones)
NEVER AGAIN. YOU HEAR ME? NEVER AGAIN!!!
current mood: infuriated
current music: Noise from the TV
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(comment on this)
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3:41 pm
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1. {Hypothesis on how long this survey will take} A while. It has 72 questions.. (I think)
2. {Describe the significance of your display name.} -_- gabriel_peace, because its my name and I left out my midle name (you know, crazy whim)
3. {When is your birthday?} October 13th
4. {If you could have your birthday on one other day of the year, which would it be?} I'm fine with it
5. {If you could fuck a zodiac sign, what would it be?} Sagitarius, because its a centaur *grin*
.6. {How did you learn the word "fuck"?} Its was what my father screamed when he saw me pull the knife from my little sister's gut (When I was five)
7. {If you could be anybody else for one day, who would it be?} Somebody with a corporial body
8. {Who are you the most envious of?} People who can feel things, people who can touch
9. {If you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be?} I wish the pricipal of my old school liked me, then we could have had lots of fun *grin* The school would have been at my feet...
10. {Out of everyone you've ever met, who would you most like the opportunity of reading like a book?} Jesa (but I can already do that...)
11. {What book are you currently reading?} Nothing
12. {What is your favorite movie?} Butterfly Effect
13. {What do you think of the Beatles?} I dont know, I've never heard them
15. {If you could tell anybody off right now, who would it be, and what for?} I'd tell off all the people who have fucked my little sister over, who've lied and not carred, who broke her
16. {What is your most prized possession?} Katie
17. {What do you think happens after death?} I dont know (Maybe i died, maybe this is what happens after death)
18. {Do you believe in God?} No
19. {What do you think about religion?} Its bullshit. A richous wepon of mass destruction
21. {If you were to approach your favorite actor/actress on the street, what would you say?} Why hello, how nice to meet you, would you like to come have a drink? *evil grin*
23. {Who do you fantasize about running into "unexpected"?} The boy from the spidery closet, so i could ask him his name 9and make up for all those scars he has... they are all my fault, I did drag him down with me...)
24. {What would you say?} I'd ask his name, and I'd say sorry (no I wouldn't, I'd hurt him more... but thats better then an apoligy)
25. {What adds the most meaning to your life?} Taking care of my little sister
26. {If you were one person from the bible, who do you think you'd be?} The snake
27. {Are you aware that Jesus' birthday is arriving shortly?} No its not, thats christmas and its the end of summer, dimwit -_-
28. {If you could be any evil person from history, who would you be?} Me.
29. {If you could fight any historic figure, who would it be?} I dont know
30. {Have you ever wondered if deep down you're evil?} I know I am, but it doesnt matter anyway. Some people are just evil. Some are horrible. Some lie. Its not something to purge, its something to accept, and I do. (The trick is finding others that do...)
31. {What is the one thing you feel you need to be forgiven about the most in order to move on?} Killing my sister and parents
32. {Who do you still need closure from?} Sister and parents
33. {Would you like to change your name to something else?} No. I love my name. When i was hiding out I used the name Alestor black. i grew to hate it. I love my name.
34. {If you could brutally slaughter someone, who would it be?} *rolls eyes* been there, done that
35. {What is your torture of choice?} Anything that has to do with beautiful blades
36. {Do you say, "I don't know" a lot, or do you vary your answers?} I say I dont know when i really dont, and give better answers when I have something important to say
37. {If you could live somewhere else, where would it be?} I really dont care, as long as Jesa is there
38. {Do you sincerely think you're all that original, or do you usually steal things from other people?} I'm me. The the fuck else would I be?
39. {Have you been diagnosed as something out of the ordinary?} My mind is to messed, the counsler refused to treat me so I musted me messed up horribly *grin*
40. {How do you want to die?} I wont die. i dont think I can. I can only be forgoten
41. {What do you want to become?} I am what I will become. I am what I always will be, I am suspended.
42. {Do you consider yourself intellectual?} Somewhat
43. {Do you discuss superiority/inferiority a little too much?} No, but I understand it (really, I do. I know all about it)
44. {Do you have epiphanies monthly?} wtf
45. {Describe your last one.}wtf
46. {Describe your last cruel prank.} I didnt dare play any at school, which is where I've spent the last 10-ish years
47. {Who do you consider yourself "obsessed" with?} Jesa, I guess (I take care of her, I never leave her alone)
48. {Do you have any weird obsessions?} *points up*
53. {If you could describe yourself on one emotion, what would it be?} Chaos (shut up, it is so an emotion)
54. {What age do you want to die at?} I cant die, remember?
55. {Should they make Mary Jane legal?} No, wheres the fun, if the forbidden is gone?
56. {If you could have witnessed one event in history or the course of your life, what would it be?} I dont know (Yes i do, the begining of the universe)
57. {If you could be on TV screen for one thing, what would it be?} I cant. No one can see me but Jesa
58. {Do you think in black and white or in colour more?) Black and white and blue. (and the rest as well)
59. {Describe the last dream you had.} I dont remember. something about Katie and Arisa and Jesa...
60. {What do you think your subconscious was trying to inform you of?} That I';m fucked in the head
61. {Do you see a therapist?} No, but I should -_-
62. {Do you need one?} *rolls eyes* *points up*
63. {How much money is in your wallet?} None
64. {What, if you can remember, was the best day of your life?} When Jesa pulled me out of my world and into hers
65. {How did you find out what sex was?} I watched the other people at my school (god did I ever end up in closets alot -_- *irony*)
66. {How old were you when you first started killing kittens?}6.. oh wait, you dont mean killing kittens, you mean... oh... 8
67. {What is the world's main problem?} It doesnt take care of it's people
68. {If you could spend the rest of you life with someone you know right now, who would it be?} Jesa
69. {What is your biggest social fear?} Being forgotten
70. {What should you be doing right now?} taking care of my sis (but I am)
71. {What was the last movie you rented?} I've never rented a movie
72. {What do you highly suggest everyone see?} Suffering. Everyone needs to see people suffer, see it until there eyes bleed and they cant fucking ignore it
73. {What's the meaning of life?} Suffering, spawing care, spawing love, spawing suffering (and around and around and around...)
74. {How long did this survey take you?} a long while
current mood:  indescribable
current music: something on TV
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3:40 pm
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3:15 pm
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*sigh* And Jesa finds herself all alone yet again (twice in two days, tsk, tsk...) Well, alone other then me of course. She's waiting through her sickness for a phone call, praying through her lonelyness...
Theres a bubble around her today, obscuring and icy and I am the only one who seems to have no trouble breaking through. Rather, rather odd. Her mind is in shamles, and she's clinging to me (and the concept of me) like I'm a security blanket. Like I'm her brother. I am, though (what else would I be?)
And more so then anyone else could, more so then any being of flesh and breath could (because exsisting on this plane makes it impossible -it makes you stupid and blind-) I will stay with her. I will take care of you Jesa, I promise you that.
I met another corporeal-ly challened person today (good god, why are the all girls?) oh no, I met two. One is french, blonde and beautiful and i dont understand a word she says. But I like her. Another is silver and red, tortured and bright and carring. I like her too. I would really like to get to know them better. I would love to meet people like me... because I find most on the same plain as I are horribly one sidded, like drawings, like lines over papper. A cheap comfort, a pretend something. I have far more depth (Jesa as not begun to tell you -to let me tell you- of all the things I am -of all the things I do-)
So I'll leave you on that note (not that anyone reads this, anyway) and wrap my arms around my little sister as she finds ways to bat back the lonleyness, to fight the solitude (although I know I'll end up suffering through it with her... but what else would I want to do?)
current mood:  contemplative
current music: soccoer, on TV
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